The evening of the last day of the decade - 31st of december 2009. It has been a decade which has promised much but failed to deliver the lives that people with disabilities and their families long for. We have seen apparently radical policies which have not translated into brilliant lives. There has been an army of people charged with putting policy into practice but the mechanisms have, for the most part, failed the people they were set up to serve. There has been an astonishing amount of waste as partnership boards and related groups have struggled to translate the values and intentions of policy into local people living better lives. Millions has been spent on person centred planning training and other worthy innovations but so many people continue to lead small mediocre lives as service providers make grand claims about the person centred services they provide.
The decade to come must be grounded in deeper reflection about what it really takes to enable people to live the kind of lives non disabled people take for granted. People with disabilities themeselves and their allies must take power so that those who are charged with supporting them deepen their understanding of the assistance people really want. There must be a shift away form service thinking towards community thinking in which people are seen not as service users but are seen as citizens - a shift from recipients to participants.
A willingness to live the values of equality will set people free. Social inclusion must be at the core of all developments and communities must be trusted to develop in ways which respect all of their members. The development of more empowering arrangments for purchasing support offer grounds for optimism but these new models alone will not be enough.
The power shift that is needed is political and is rooted in the authentic voices of people who have been kept separate for too long.
Many new acts of togetherness are needed - deep listening and understanding and the courage to act on what is heard. I meet this new decade filled with energy and the determination to be part of this change. My own commitment is to 'be the change i wish to see in the world' - the shift from separation to togetherness. I intend to energise and celebrate the authentic voices of people who know how it is to live without power and to share in the wisdom of those who know what this deep change takes.
The very best wishes for the decade - lets celebrate the diversity in every community and put an end to the wasted lives which diminish us all.
"All of us need people who want to be with us"
Andy
Thursday, 31 December 2009
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Long journey learning to know each other. This decade speaks to forgiving ourselves so we can be the natural loving experts we are. Finally, I am not Against anyone, but For life. I choose LIFE. xxx
ReplyDeleteWell done Andy. I cant tell you how delighted I am to read about this shift in approach. Those of us who work as theologians in the area of disability have been talking about this for quite some time and it forms part of my own PhD dissertation.
ReplyDeleteI would make one slight change though.
I have decided to stop using the idea of inclusion in favour of the idea of belonging. I think it would fit this new approach much better. 'Inclusion' immediately sets up an 'us and them' situation, i.e. we include them. It's a one way street and there's not much suggestion that we are changed at all by the presence of people with disabilities among us. It is they who will change when we include them. But how are we changed?
With belonging on the other hand we can say to everyone, 'you belong here' (by virtue of your being 'you')...you don't need anyone's permission and we certainly don't need the government to tell us this.
Part of my research is on the difficult area of loneliness which is complex and multi-layered. I have come to see that loneliness and isolation exists not because people don't have rights, or because there isn't equality policy in place. People are lonely because we don't want them as friends and because we don't feel they belong to us as our 'brothers and sisters'. Until we change the one way street into a two way street I feel we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes of the last decade.
And finally I'd say that while it's true that 'all of us need people who want to be with us', it's possible that we also need to learn from those who don't want to be with us, or from those who might want to be with us but don't have the congitive skills to express their wish to be with us. They still belong to us no matter what.
Best wishes for the New Year Andy and keep up the good work.
Liam Waldron
People only realise they want to be with people when they take time to be with each other and share with each other, whatever that sharing might be. In the busyness of life, finding time just to "be" with someone can often seem unproductive and not very high on the "things to do list". But as we develop relationships with each other, recognising our own and each others gifts, we create different futures and open up more possibilities. I have come across that phrase several times in the past few weeks, "be the change you want to see", so I, too, am re-energised to create more "togetherness".
ReplyDeleteAngela, Pauline and Liam
ReplyDeletethankyou for reading and commenting - i am really encouraged by your thinking and responses. There is a lot to do but it will be through our learning to be together that we will figure out how to create real belonging (thanks Liam)
warm regards
Andy
My personal feeling is that to have a sense of belonging I need to trust myself and my friends. In order to trust myself I need confidence and self-belief. I think that one way I can contribute is through working with people to discover themselves and their unique gifts through their life stories. And in so doing discover more about myself. I read some John Steinbeck, over the New Year, and I quote: "Try to understand men, if you understand eachother you will be kind to eachother. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and nearly always leads to love."
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing your thoughts - I'm still working on how to express mine but will be back...it's too important not to! x
ReplyDeleteNew Years Resolution time -
ReplyDeleteFirst one - the first blog I have ever followed! And if I am going to do it, what a worthwhile, inspiring and necessary one to be following!
Thank you Andy for setting out with such integrity and honesty the reality as we enter 2010 - and to everyone else for the comments that followed.
After reading this, I am left with an unsettled feeling which is fuelling the call to action thats needed.
Second New Years Resolution...to place my energies wisely and so I am reminded of something I heard a long time ago...'when we die our 'to be' list will be a lot longer than our 'to do' list!'
So, Third Resolution...and thats probably enough - in recognition of the fact that my 'doing' sometimes doesn't leave space for me to 'be' with another - I aim to let go more, and be OK with not knowing, in that moment, and just sit with you and wonder and find out about you and us together..... just saying that that already feels such a more peaceful and creative place to be!
A great starting point to then see what might be needed!
Feels very positive to belong to this group...x
Thank you Andy. Belonging is at the heart of community. What I will say though Liam is 'I' cannot tell 'you' where to belong. Only 'we' can know that for ourselves.
ReplyDeleteIt is where JOY is. It is where you find you are loved just for being you. With love X
About time!!!!
ReplyDeleteOur organisation values each individual and have a unique way of working, which gets us strange looks at times from the PC social services brigade, but has equally gained us a CQC excellent, as we simply employ poeple who love our client group and want to treat individuals in the same way as they would want a member of their family cared for.. Simple really!
If I'm out in the street and see one of our clients and they rush up and give me a hug, I hug them back in the same way as I would greet an old friend.
If someone cries I put a caring arm around them and give tlc and reassurance and I expect the same from my staff.
To tell people to back away and shake hands isnt realistic and quite inhuman.
Passion for the client group is the key and I'm passionate about the service I run, we all work whatever hours we need to and go over and above, thats passion and we wouldnt have it any other way.
Talikng about person centred planning and then being indifferent and not being flexible to their needs is just nonsense.
So encouraging and reassuring to read everyone's heartfelt comments and personal committments to change.
ReplyDeleteAndy's signalling in the next decade highlights skillfully the tensions between our needs, which connect us with ALL people and the inequality in how we are able to meet this need, which is what separates us.
Listening seems to me key in creating togetherness which is based on eqaulity. Listening to myself in the uncomfortable places of not knowing how to be, and listening to the other with the whole body.Listening to the Disabled People's Movement as a political voice to inform my actions.Many legal and policy changes happened because disabled people fought for their rights. Maybe we find ourselves in this place where we can reflect on the deeper issues of connectedness and inclusion thanks to the people who have fought quite hard to get so far? Once grassroots change becomes policy it will unfortunately be compromised by the familiar power (in)balance. Person centred planning is still a great tool and inclusion is for me still a wonderful and 100% worthwhile ambition - just because the word has been abused and misused and stretched to mean the exact opposite doesn't mean that I would want to give up on it. Everyone, who is serious about inclusion knows that it means belonging, welcoming, equality, respect, valuing gifts.It also places a responsibility on making inclusion happen on the ones who have power to do so. (see 'the keys to inclusion' www.inclusive-solutions.org, or the principles of inclusion in www.parentsforinclusion.org, www.allfie.org.uk)
THere is a 'doing' element of the change, which we want to see and be part of. Being an 'ally' to disabled people (or being an ally to any member of a marginalised group) is also 'doing'. It is using my power and ability to get the welcome right, to make it possible that we can all be together: The fetching, the carrying, the untangling of hearing loops, the lighting, the temperature, learning unique ways to communicate, printing the bigger font, slowing down the pace, hiring an interpreter.
We recognise the power of slowing down and we all know the power, discipline, determination it takes to set a different pace.
I am interested in the quality of this 'right action'.
Let me invite you to think about the following question:
Who was on your side when you were a child?
What did this person do - or NOT do - for you to know that they were on your side?
And before you read on - please answer this question for yourself...
I would like to offere you a big quote (Please Andy put it on a more prominent place on the blog!) from Micheline Mason.
"How to be an Ally - The role of non-disabled people (which includes parents):
The truth is this -
We do need you, not to be 'experts' or managers of our lives, but to be friends, enablers and 'receivers' of our gifts to you. We need you to admit cheerfully what you don't know, without shame; to ask us what we need before providing it, to lend us your physical strength when appropriate, to allow us to teach you necessary skills; to champion our rights, to remove barriers previously set in place, to return to us any power you mave over our lives. We may also need you to remind us of our importance to the world and to each other, at times of tiredness and discouragement.
We can live without patronage, pity and sentimentality, but we cannot live without closeness, respect and cooperation from other people. Above all we need you to refuse to accept any 'segregation' of one group of humans from another as anything else but an unacceptable loss for all concerned'.
I love this!
Cornelia